Fanaa(Arabic: فناء fanāʾ ) is the Sufi term for "dissolution" or "annihilation" (of the self) or Muraqaba. It means to dissolve the ego self, while remaining physically alive.
In the language of the esoterics: "Death before death".
I remembered flirting with the concept. Death was a real fear back then. Not only as a biological-sensory-feedback but as an ethereal concept. To be 'destroyed', to be 'nonexistent'. At some point my curiosity wins over my protective buffer, driving me ahead, forging the path through the concept.
Is a hyperactive, retarded art-loving freak, who's life is half-dependent on the internets and it's byproducts. Half of his expenditure is on artbooks, comics, and food. Spend his non-retarded time doing stuffs like photography, reading, sports, playing his poor, sad guitar crappily, and trying to improve himself on various aspects. BULGOGI!!